ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

Despite the obstacles in their way, these two women found someone special

- HELEN RENSHAW

‘He accepts me for who I am’

Helen Cooke, 53, lives in Windsor with her physiotherapist husband, Michael, and stepdaughter, Rosie, 19.

I had surgery for a spinal tumour at just a few months old and have been a wheelchair user all my life. My parents encouraged me to be independent, and I grew up confident and resilient. But determined as I’ve been, I have experienced insecurities around dating. I remember watching friends meet their first boyfriends and thinking that might never happen for me.

LOOKING FOR ROMANCE

In my 20s, I started meeting other people with spinal cord injuries and many of them were married or had partners, usually able-bodied. I began to think that maybe I had built this up into more of a problem than it really was. I stopped thinking it was unlikely that I’d ever meet anyone, and started thinking that it just might be slightly more of a challenge.

I started internet dating in 2005, when it was still quite new. However, I didn’t put that I was a wheelchair user on my profile, as I worried men might just screen me out straight away. I always told them before we met – and I did have a few online conversations that ended with them saying they didn’t want to meet me any more, which was tough to deal with. Internet dating can be quite brutal – it’s all about the visual.

For the next few years, I shifted my focus to work. In 2006, I set up MyPlus, now one of the UK’s leading authorities in disability recruitment, which led to me being named one of the Shaw Trust’s 100 most influential disabled people in the UK.