Outsmart EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES!

Move over, Dracula: There are very real vampires in our lives who drain our joy and energy. Here, psychologists' simple keys to taking back control, setting clear boundaries and improving all your relationships

- KRISTINA MASTROCOLA

WE KNOW THEM WHEN WE MEET THEM: the complainer, the narcissist, the drama magnet...and the list of difficult people goes on. They sap our energy, and in the most extreme cases, deal a blow to our self-esteem. The first step to defusing these emotional vampires is as vital as it is deceptively simple: Label what you're feeling, encourages Amy Cooper Hakim, Ph.D., industrial-organizational psychology practitioner and co-author of Working With Difficult People.

"It's important to be honest with yourself by saying, 'This person doesn't make me feel good about myself,"" says Hakim. Such an explicit acknowledgement helps curb any misplaced selfblame you may feel so you can shift from the shell shock of being mistreated into proactive, problem-solving mode.

Another advantage to spotting joy thieves is that it helps prepare you for the next time they come around. "You'll be able to say to yourself, "This behavior seems familiar- I recognize this type of person," says Hakim With your antenna raised, you'll create healthy boundaries more easily. Here, five types of joy vampires and simple strategies that will stop them from taking advantage of your big heart.

DEFUSE A GOSSIP WITH A REDIRECT