Date for the diary - heavenly predictions

I HAVE a confession to make. I’ve been a journalist since 1988, yet I seem to have overlooked the story of a lifetime; Jesus was supposed to return last month and I missed it. I've had a lot on lately, but that’s no excuse.

- Phil Wisdom

To be fair, I wasn’t the only hack who failed to pick up on South African pastor Joshua Mhlakela’s prediction that the Rapture would occur on September 23 or 24 (for those out of touch with evangelical eschatology, at the Rapture the faithful will be snatched up to heaven leaving the rest of us to endure the Tribulation, seven years of woe preceding the Last Judgement). However, the indifference of the mainstream media didn’t matter because the news was all over Tiktok, the global marketplace of ideas, where the devout - particularly in the USA, unsurprisingly - were keenly sharing their preparations for the End of Days. Facebook Marketplace was glutted with believers’ redundant merch. Some sold their cars, or even quit their jobs. An Uber driver was handed $2,000 by a couple who said they didn’t need it any more. One woman stuck helpful notes on all her domestic appliances for the benefit of the heathens who'd be moving in. A