‘I first went to rehab at 46 – I’ve never been happier’

Charlie became an addict at 18 but after three decades of drugs, crime, abuse and many spells in prison, she pledged to turn her life around. She tells Maira Butt how she changed

- Maira Butt

I was in the bath trying to get warm, surrounded by needles, screaming to God for help. I thought, I’m going to be dead soon.

I'd been out shoplifting and hadn’t been able to find anything to sell to buy some crack and heroin. My long-term partner had died of a methadone overdose and my circulation was so poor that I couldn't take in any of the drugs I was able to buy. At the age of 43, I'd finally hit rock bottom. And I was ready to change.

This chapter of my life had begun when I was 15. That was when I met an older guy named Dave, who was 26. He looked after me and made me feel special. At the time, we didn't have the awareness of grooming that we have now. I lived in a nice part of Leeds, where that kind of thing didn't happen. My dad, a well-known policeman and pub and nightclub owner in the area, said that Dave was a nasty piece of work. But I rebelled. In my mind, they had no reason not to like him. I thought he was brilliant. My mum was desperate and reported me to social services, but because I was only a few months off turning 16, they advised me the best ways I could be safe.

They put me in the middle of Leeds, with three other girls who'd just left social services. They were 16 and 17. You can imagine what happened. The parties were endless. Dave told me he smoked cannabis oil and shared it with me. He'd smoke it in front of his mum, so I believed him. I used it for a week and then one day I woke up and thought I had the flu. I was vomiting a vile green liquid. I'll never forget what came next. I said: "This isn't cannabis, is it?" He said: "You'll never leave me now, will you bitch?"

Two months after I turned 18, I married him. He'd never hit me until the wedding night, when he beat me black and blue. He went on to beat me when I was pregnant. I lost the baby. He beat me so often that I can never have children again.