From empty nester to foster carer

When her youngest child left home for university, Jane Backhouse could have downsized and enjoyed her newfound freedom. Instead, she and husband Edward opened their home and hearts to three siblings aged three and under

- By Emma Elms

Jane Backhouse with daughters Emily and Megan

IT WAS an ordinary afternoon in February 2024 when Jane Backhouse took a phone call that changed her entire family’s life. The woman on the phone told her, “We have a two-year-old and a three-year-old... and there’s also a four-month-old baby. They’re siblings. We'd like to keep them together if possible.”

Jane, then aged 53, had one immediate thought: “Oh my goodness! Three?! A baby?! At my age?”

After Emily, the youngest of Jane’s three children, was born, she took voluntary redundancy from her job managing a hotel and loved being a full-time mum. When she eventually went back to work, it was in a specialist school as an engagement tutor. The children would come to her for therapy or mindfulness sessions. Some of them were in the care system, and she found helping them immensely rewarding.

By the time Emily was preparing to leave for university, Jane would catch herself staring at her daughter across the kitchen table thinking, “Next year the house is going to feel so quiet — too quiet.”

She could feel the empty nest looming. Jane and husband Edward started discussing downsizing, but one evening she turned to him and said, “What about fostering?”

In fact, her idea is becoming more common, as mid-lifers like Jane are being called on to help with the UK’s fostering crisis. Over 12,500 more foster carers are urgently needed, according to figures from the National Fostering Group. The current lack of carers means siblings are more likely to be split up or placed far away from their home towns.

Jane’s suggestion wasn’t completely out of the blue. A close friend of hers had fostered and inspired her when talking about her own positive experience. But that night, something stirred in her.