I Had My Brother's Baby

Ashlee Mataele explains why giving birth to her nephew was her very best decision…

- Kristina Beanland & Paige Haydon

When I tell people I’ve had my brother’s baby, initially they are shocked – and, while most are supportive, I know that even now there are still those that think it a little strange! But, while our family may be somewhat unconventional, I wouldn’t have it any other way…

My older brother David and I have always been close. As we reached our teens, I could talk to him about anything, from friendship fallouts to heartbreaks.

I was sure there were no secrets between us, but, in January 2008, David, then 25, came out as gay. It was a shock – he was married and had three children – but it didn’t matter to me who he loved. And when he introduced me to Brendan, his partner, I’d never seen him happier.

Closer than ever

Along with my partner, John, the four of us would go out for dinner and spend weekends at the beach. And Brendan was a wonderful stepfather to my nieces and nephew. He’d ferry them to football practice, and was on the front row of school plays. When John and I had our son Levi in February 2012, he was just as doting as an uncle.

So it came as no surprise when Brendan and David said they wanted a child of their own. Brendan had no biological children, so they decided they’d use his sperm to fertilise a donor egg.

Only, as a same-sex couple, the process was complicated. Not only would they have to be approved as prospective parents by an agency, but they needed to find a donor egg and a surrogate.