It's Always Sunny In Private Equity

Everything was glowing at the Davos of the private equity industry. Can anything really go wrong?

- Jason Kelly

Berlin’s Tegel Airport is a Cold War throwback, hailing from the time before travelers had to go through perfume shops, luxury stores, and immense food courts to board a flight. It’s too small to comfortably serve the now hip and hopping capital of Germany—there aren’t that many direct flights from the U.S.—but that doesn’t stop the crowds from coming.

And each year in late February, Tegel welcomes a particularly exclusive set of visitors: Some fly in on private jets; others straggle in through connections, feeling ragged though still dressed in expensive jeans and Allbirds. They’ve booked as many as 20 back-to-back 30-minute meetings for each of the next four days, encounters that have been described as Wall Street speed dating. They’ve come to court the people controlling trillions of dollars in assets, who have also arrived in Berlin for a convention at the InterContinental Hotel. It’s called SuperReturn International, a party of 2,500 attendees celebrating the private equity industry—the firms that invest in almost every big company you’ve ever heard of and are looking to own even more.

Collectively, private equity firms manage upwards of $3 trillion. Outback Steakhouse, the Weather Channel, and Neiman Marcus have all passed through their hands, entwining the industry in our everyday lives. Just one firm, Washingtonbased Carlyle Group LP, which has controlled everything from Hertz to AMC movie theaters, has a total of about 900,000 employees in all the companies it currently owns.