Beat the CURSE OF COMPARISON

Exhausted trying to keep up with the Joneses? Our experts explain why it's time to stop contrasting your life with others

- ROSE GOODMAN

Feel like you're trying to keep pace with your more adventurous friends? Envious of the colleagues who can afford to retire early while you're still slogging away? Comparing yourself to others is something that we all do - it's human instinct. 'Comparison has been hardwired into our DNA for thousands of years,' explains therapist Marisa Peer*. 'Previously, in order to stay alive, we learnt how to do things by watching others. It really was the survival of the fittest.'

However, fast forward to the current day and pitting ourselves against our peers has become a measuring stick for material worth, personal success and life satisfaction, often breeding low self-esteem, jealousy and depression as a result. One study** found that we tend to overestimate the happiness and success of others, while failing to notice any negatives about their lives - so it comes as no surprise that women can get stuck feeling 'less than' when comparing themselves to others.

The drive to compare

It's not only the younger generation who are in the grip of 'comparison culture'. There's no doubt that social media exposure plays a huge part, thanks to all those manipulated lifestyles and filtered photos, but seeing how we stack up against others isn't just a modern or digital phenomenon. The idea, coined 'social comparison theory', was first developed by social psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, and it refers to how we evaluate our abilities and attitudes, in comparison with others.