The big show is back! Premier League returns with new thrills and a new threat

Clubs are spending like the world's on fire, from Wirtz to Gyökeres and Sesko, but who can say yet who has found the right chemistry?

- Barney Ronay

And I heard, as it were, a sound of thunder. I heard multitudes marching to the big kettle drum. Not to mention, it should be said, even larger multitudes talking on the wicked and unholy internet about agent sightings, failed here-we-gos and the Alexander Isak wheel of global conspiracy.

Let he that hath understanding count the number! Because, let's face it, it really is an absolute beast of a number, 215 live Premier League games on Sky Sports alone, an endless rolling debauchery of games, of graphics that go whoosh, of arguments by the lighted dias.