When the chips are down... Amazon is your only hope

Honestly, is there anything worse than a massive food-related anti-climax? A gut-wrenchingly disappointing experience that you've waited months for, only for it to be a complete damp squib.

- Kate Wobschall

A culinary let-down so great it almost - almost - reduced me to tears.

With no outing to a horse show since October, Friday saw the dawn of a new season - which also means the return of trips to the showground catering van. Which in turn boils down to just one thing - cheesy chips.

Okay, so it’s hardly MasterChef but for a mere fiver, the vast majority of caterers can knock out a portion of golden, gloriously gratinated pommes frites. Add salt if you wish or just enjoy them in their pure, blissful form.