THE SECRET I hid for 20 years

After decades battling an eating disorder, Kat Steele, 40, is finally in recovery

- ELAINE HAYWARD

Coming home after dropping my sons at school and nursery, I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Even though I was alone, I couldn't risk exposing my secret to the outside world, and as I hugged the toilet, I felt so ashamed but I couldn't see a way out of the hole I was in. It was 2016 and at the age of 31, I had bulimia.

I'd been plagued by eating disorders, starting with anorexia, since my teens. The initial trigger was my parents' divorce, when I was 15. Dad moved out, and my younger brother and I stayed with Mum. It was an incredibly distressing and unsettling time, added to which, at 6ft tall, I'd become an easy target for bullying at school. With everything around me in upheaval, I turned to food for a sense of control, dramatically reducing the amount I ate. I'd lie to Mum that I'd eaten a big meal at school to get out of eating dinner. Even though the bullying continued, I felt more confident as the pounds came away. If any family or friends noticed my weight loss, they didn't say anything and I was good at hiding it under baggy clothes.

One day, when I was 16, I was in a hardware shop with my dad and stepmum when I became dizzy. I told Dad I felt funny before collapsing. The next thing I knew, people were helping me into a chair and giving me a cup of tea. Dad asked if I'd eaten enough, looking concerned. I nodded and lied that I'd had breakfast. I told my mum the same when I got home, and it was never questioned again.