Back in the driving seat?

The currently carless Roger Field sets his mind to acquiring a suitable new set of wheels but encounters a few bumps in the road

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WELL, AS promised in April's column, I tried to put my money where my mouth has been and buy a car at auction.

The story to date: my BMW 320 'drowned' and written off. Cue swanky newish hire car, full of electronic nagging systems that drove me near bananas. Solution: buy older, non-electro-gizmo'd replacement.

First, a desultory tour of Banbury's used car emporiums, which just confirmed how boring and samey most modern cars seem; plenty of beefy-looking SUVs, many with surprisingly small engines that are not even four-wheel drive (4WD). I was momentarily tempted by a 2017 Volkswagen Tiguan diesel 4WD: £14,850 with 80,000 miles on the clock. However, the saleswoman soon got shirty with me when she insisted it was "79,000 miles" and I pointed out that the mileometer read 79,970 or 80,000 to my simplistic mind. Customer rapport then collapsed when I suggested negotiating. Paying £15,000 for something highish mileage and worthy but dull? Forget it.

Decades back, I soldiered in Germany.

This was a long-ago world where Grouse whisky and Gordon's gin cost less than £1.50 a bottle, and we were paid extra (tax free) for serving abroad. What's more, I spent so much time out on exercise that I had no opportunities to spend my money. The result was enough in the bank in very short order to buy a new, tax-free, bottom-of-the-range Golf. Boring. I then spotted a second-hand Porsche 914. "Don't do it!" all those with a modicum of sense pleaded with me. Of course I bought the Porsche, and great fun it was too. Until, naturally, it went expensively wrong. Ever since I've done boring if it's cheap, but never boring and £15,000.

Ping! Auction alert. Humbert & Ellis was having an online sale of Vintage, Classic & Modern Cars ending 3 March.