The Path Of Grief Should Be Paved With People

Grief is a complex mix of lots of different feelings. The task of grief is a normal adaptive process of coming to terms with the reality of the death of someone important to you. And it’s not something you can do alone.

- Tanya Pearey

Pain is the agent of change. It’s by allowing ourselves to feel the pain of grief and getting the support we need that, over time, we incrementally adjust to this new reality. The love and support of others is crucial. It’s the relationship with others, and the love and connection that helps us through.

Give yourself time to grieve and remember. The love you have for the person you have lost never dies, it’s just the relationship you have with them that changes. We talk about ‘continuing bonds’ –- doing things to remember them, such as wearing the person’s watch or cooking their favourite recipe to maintain that bond rather than thinking you must cut them off and move on, which is what my parents’ generation thought.