How I Finally Escaped To Safety

For 13 years, Anne*, was trapped in an abusive relationship, but finding out about a charity that supports women experiencing domestic violence was life-changing.

- sandra horley

I met Paul* in 1993, at a nightclub in East Sussex. I thought he was lovely and after five months, we moved in together and I fell pregnant with our daughter, who’s now 22. It should have been the start of a happy family life; instead, during my pregnancy, I realised that he wasn’t who I thought he was.

We were arguing about something– I can’t even remember what, but nothing important – and suddenly his hands were around my throat, squeezing until I thought I’d be strangled. He only stopped when I was about to pass out.

Afterwards, he cried like a baby, saying over and over how sorry he was and promising never to do it again. I believed him. But just days later, during another argument, he threw a heavy battery at me. Hard. It was the beginning of years of intimidation, during which I was constantly on edge for fear of upsetting him.

When we weren’t arguing, things could be fine but it was like he had a switch – perfectly normal one minute, angry and violent the next. I began doing everything I could not to provoke an outburst. But it was when I became pregnant again with my son, who’s now 20, that things got even worse.