Competing For Love

No matter how many times she’d tried to outdo him, Dylan always managed to come out on top

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It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow and I have completely run out of ideas. You see, my husband and I have this… thing. Every year he thinks of ways to wrap my presents in romantic and thoughtful ways. Every time I think I’ve managed to outdo him, he always goes one step further. For us Valentine’s Day is a competition and, this year, I am determined to beat him – but I’m currently scraping the bottom of the barrel because I have turned to my parents for ideas.

A storm has hit this morning and Shropshire is clouded in fog. Mum and Dad are trying to combat this by having the heating on full blast.

‘Mum, can you turn down the heating? I’m melting here!’ I say, as I scribble out the next idea on the list.

‘What’s wrong Sandra, love?’ Dad asks. ‘You have a face like a slapped behind.’

‘Christopher! How many times have I asked you not to talk about people’s behinds at the table? Sweet Lord, can we not have a sensible conversation in this house?’

For no reason known to man nor beast, Mum always calls my dad by his full name. The rest of the world have always gone with Chris; this constant use of his full name always gives the impression that he is eternally in trouble, which to be fair, he mostly is.

Dad grabs the list from me and scowls at the paper. ‘Oh not this wrapping competition nonsense again, love? You know Dylan always wins. What was it he did last time?’

‘He wrapped the presents up in paper that was made up of a collage of pictures of us together.’

‘Oh, Sandra, you’ve landed on your feet there. That man of yours… so thoughtful. Not like your father at all!’ Mum says, as she fills the teapot and purses her lips.

‘What are you talking about? I bought you flowers last year, didn’t I?’