Here to help

LET COUNSELLOR KEREN LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD

- 

I'm furious with my son's high flying wife

Q My grandson has sadly been diagnosed with cancer. We've been told it is treatable but it will be a long process. My son has been amazing and has taken him to all his appointments. He has asked us to help. His wife has done nothing. She's a high-flyer and has just continued to work regardless. I'm furious with her and find it hard to be around her. My son has asked me to say nothing – he says they're doing it their way. Name and address withheld

A It must be a worrying time for you and your family. Remember that everyone manages their stress in different ways. From what you have described, your daughter-in-law is clearly coping by avoiding things. Being furious with her isn't going to help. I think this is a moment for compassion for a woman whose child is seriously ill. Being kind to her and helping her to engage more, step by little step, will be much more productive than distancing yourself. Try to tell yourself: she's doing the best she can in a difficult situation.

A friend needs my help, but I'm torn