Shabana came to kick down doors - and if you don't like it she'll deport you, too

The home secretary was in a determined frame of mind. No more Mr Nice Guy when dealing with illegal immigrants. Not that there was anything like a legal immigrant as far as she was concerned. The only good migrant was a deported one. She laced up her Doc Martens. It was kicking-a-door-in o’clock - starting with her own.

- John Crace

Shabana Mahmood was dozing in bed when Shabana Mahmood burst into her room and pulled back the duvet. Shabana forced her eyes open, trying to make sense of this unexpected intrusion. Where was her security detail? This must be a mistake.

“Right,” said Shabana. “Get dressed in this orange jumpsuit and don’t mess about. You’re due at the processing centre within the hour. You’ll be on a plane home by the end of the day.”

“But I am home,” said Shabana. “I was born here.”