Modern Manners for Your Social Dilemmas

CINDY ASKS... A pet peeve of mine is when I'm saying something to a friend, and the friend takes out their phone and begins scrolling or typing. I'm more of a listener than a talker, so it especially hurts when I've fully listened to a friend, then I start to speak and they turn their attention to their phone. I'm tempted to say, "Oh, am Iboring you?" or "Would you and your phone prefer to be alone?" or just plain "It hurts my feelings when I talk and you take out your phone. Is it an emergency?" Advice needed.

- HODA KOTB & JENNA BUSH HAGER

JENNA BUSH HAGER: I would go with option C. Maybe say, "I love these catchups with you, but it hurts my feelings when you take out your phone. It makes me feel like I'm not important, and I really want to connect with you."

HODA KOTB: I was recently in this situation. It was a very intimate moment, and I tried to tee up the thing I wanted to say because my friend was on her phone. I finally put my hand on her leg and said, "Listen, I'm trying to tell you something that's very meaningful to me, and you may be looking up something we were talking about, but I need you to be here with me for this." Just don't be snarky about it. Really, though, pulling out a phone is pretty much the equivalent of reading a magazine while someone is trying to talk to you.

JBH: It's become a habit for a lot of people. I find that when I'm out with friends and wanting to connect, if somebody is on their phone, it just changes the entire vibe. And you can say that.

HK: It's good to be honest. Clear is kind.

LISA ASKS...