Let's Talk About WRINKLES

I've kept that video handy these last 12 years because it is hilarious, but also as a reminder: Caring more than fleetingly about my wrinkles (and gray hair and menobod) feels out of sync with my values.

- STEPHANIE DOLGOFF

I HAVE A VIDEO ON MY PHONE OF ONE OF MY CHILDREN at age 9 mewling, "Oh! Oh no! Wrinkles!" while pulling the lush, peachy skin of their jaw and neck taut. Willow was lampooning me looking in the mirror and had me dead to rights.

If you asked me back then (or now, at 57) what is important to me, it would be helping people close to me feel loved, being kind, and advocating for those whom the world treats unfairly. Up there too would be pushing back against the absurd beauty standards bearing down on all of us.

When my kids were small, I wanted them to be critical consumers of media, so I sat them down and showed them a celebrity magazine.

I explained that breasts do not typically sit on women's collarbones; bodies aren't supposed to shrink to "Half Their Size!"; and everyone's face changes over time and that's normal and beautiful. I meant every word.