LOVE'S PYRE, HONOUR'S TOMB

"Militat omnis amans." — Ovid, Amores I.IX "Every lover is a soldier."

- SHWETA MAHENDRA

From ancient times, marriage in India has been envisioned as a sacred bond, not merely a social contract or a religious ritual. The Hindu scriptures speak of love, respect, and partnership between husband and wife—a vision where a woman is honoured and dignified within her new family.

Yet alongside this ideal lies a stark reality: a woman's choices, especially in love and marriage, have always been tightly controlled. Ancient texts acknowledged love marriages Gandharva Vivaha based on mutual desire. Yet even these texts warned that such unions were unfit for high-born noble families. Marriage, they insisted, must preserve caste boundaries and social order—even at the cost of a woman's happiness.

This tension between sacred love and strict control runs through India's most moving love stories. Sohni Mahiwal drowned while trying to reach her beloved across a river. Heer and Ranjha died because their families refused to accept their bond. Shirin and Farhad's love ended in death, crushed under royal pride and social barriers. These legends persist because they show how love has long been seen as a dangerous threat to family and community honour.

Yet the burden placed upon women begins far earlier, from the moment a daughter is born. In many households, the birth of only girl children carries unspoken shame. Such shame is unwritten, yet it dictates social behaviour with ruthless efficiency. Girls grow up learning that their bodies, choices, and even silence are seen as the family's fragile shield. Unwritten rules follow them everywhere: do not speak too loudly; do not look at boys; do not laugh too freely; do not fall in love. This relentless conditioning becomes a cage.