How to MAKE FRIENDS in your 50s

Have you noticed that it's harder to maintain old relationships or find new ones as you get older? Be reassured, you're not alone

- Debra Waters

Reaching half a century is a milestone - a time when we're wiser, calmer and more confident. But life may also feel at its most demanding. This is the age of the sandwich generation, when many of us are supporting elderly parents while raising kids - not to mention juggling jobs, partners and health issues. It is, quite possibly, when we need our friends the most, but friendships are often the ball we drop.

We may be too busy to maintain long-term friendships, especially if distance is a factor, or too tired to nurture new acquaintances. Yet research shows friendships should be a priority. Feeling socially connected helps us live longer, says Lydia Denworth, author of Friendship: The Evolution, Biology and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond*. 'Our bodies and brains are hardwired for friendship because there are evolutionary advantages to being good at making and maintaining friends,' she says. "It improves cardiovascular functioning, our immune system, cognitive and mental health, our stress responses and the quality of our sleep! 

But what if your best friend has moved away, or you're divorced or widowed, and your 'couple friends' have fallen by the wayside? Perhaps your children are older and the camaraderie you had with other parents has ebbed away? Or you're working from home, retired or your health is affecting your ability to get out. 'As we get older, we have fewer opportunities for ritualised socialising,' says psychotherapist Charlotte Fox Weber, author of What We Want** 'Schools and offices are gathering spaces, and it can feel less awkward to socialise with people you see on a regular basis. There's a sense of belonging, and the shared system bolsters connections and togetherness.