FINDING NEW STRENGTH AFTER HEARTBREAK

Celebrating the holidays while grappling with grief is never easy, and after losing three of her sons, most-listened-to radio host Delilah Rene, 64, who has comforted millions of listeners for more than 30 years, knows the pain all too well. Here, she opens up about how she focuses on family, faith and tradition to find comfort and Christmas joy

- MAGGIE DILLARD

Delilah Rene stood among the decorations on Christmas morning and felt a twinge of joy bubbling up past the constant ache of grief in her heart. This will still be special, she thought, only one week after the loss of her stepson, Ryan, in December of 2019.

Having lost her 16-year-old son, Sammy, in 2012 and her 18-year-old son, Zachariah (“Zack”), in 2017, Delilah knew firsthand how the holidays could amplify the pain of loss. How can I even feel happiness during the holidays? she had wondered.

But shortly after losing Sammy, Delilah made a promise to all 12 of her other children: “I will not do to you what my mother did to me. I will not leave you orphaned because I can’t function.” In her 20s, Delilah had lost her brother, and her mother had completely shut down. With her mother unable to overcome the pain, Delilah had felt like she’d lost them both.

FAMILY OF LOVE (Above) Delilah's children (including Zack, top left, and Sammy, far right) have always kept their tradition of wearing matching pajamas on Christmas morning.

They need a fully functioning mother, Delilah vowed, looking around at the twinkling holiday lights. As she thought of the promise she made to her children, she also remembered what her friend and country singer Rory Feek said shortly after she’d lost Zack. Rory had just lost his wife, Joey, and said, “Your boys are now part of your future.” Yes, they’re gone, but they’re in Heaven. Now, I look forward to seeing them again with anticipation, Delilah reminded herself. As that truth settled in her heart, it slowly changed everything.