LET'S TALK ABOUT...DEPRESSION

Rates of depression have risen dramatically since the pandemic and cyclists aren't immune, as Chris Marshall-Bell finds out

- Chris Marshall-Bell

“Depression, for me, is having no energy to do anything, despite wanting to,” says Matt Gibson, a top domestic racer who currently rides for Continental team Saint Piran. “You feel helpless, worthless, powerless to your own body, and just generally shit. You’ll train and try to hit your numbers, but you can’t. You’re lethargic, weak. More than sadness, it’s a feeling of numbness.” The 27-year-old has competed and won bike races around the world, but accompanying most of his accomplishments has been an invisible illness, one affecting 280 million people worldwide.

“When I’m having a bout of depression,” he continues, “I tend to withdraw from any sort of social interaction. Sometimes I’ll force myself out and it does make me feel better, but my default setting is not to reply to any texts, not to answer the phone, and not to burden anyone with how I’m feeling.” Gibson, who is recovering from a broken leg sustained in the winter, suffers from bouts of depression – as do an estimated 16%, or one in six, of the UK population. A common mental disorder, depression is typified by having a low mood and a loss of interest in almost all activities.

Thankfully, the stigma around mental health has gradually decreased over the past decade, but speaking out can still feel very difficult – particularly for pro riders who are expected to convey resilience. Whether or not cyclists are especially susceptible to depression is impossible to ascertain, but Gibson knows of other professional riders who struggle like he does. “It’s more common than is publicly known,” he believes.