GANARY A COALMINE

The James Brown tune 'It's a Man's Man's Man's World' comes on the radio, filling the coach, and does nothing for my pre-event nerves as I sit surrounded by serious-looking, wiry, tanned men in Lycra. It's 6.30am, pitch black outside and I'm feeling very out of my depth as a relative newcomer to the world of clipless pedals and hurting for fun. Last night's stress dream involved being very unprepared to get married and being handed my great-grandmother-in-law-to-be's hideous silver dress with lace trim to wear minutes before the ceremony was due to start. I'll let you psychoanalyse that one.

- Emma Lewis

It feels several steps up from the only other cycling event I've done - the Etape Caledonia in the Scottish Highlands, 14 years ago in my pre-kids other life, when I had time and energy for some training, not to mention youth on my side. However, having heard many good things about the fitness fan's holiday destination of choice, Club La Santa on the Canary Island of Lanzarote, I couldn't turn down the offer of a trip here in September to take part in this new gran fondo-style event, organised by them (and supported by the island's government and municipalities plus various sporting bodies from Lanzarote and Spain).

Club La Santa's marketing manager, Kim, hadn't tried to warn me off it when I admitted my lack of skinny-wheeled experience, but thankfully my request to do just the shorter (74km) second day of the 189km two-day event had been granted. Little did I know at that point that I'd be lining up at the start not too far behind double Tour de France winner Alberto Contador...

Start-line succour

Fast-forward a few months, and as I get off that coach from Club La Santa to the event start in Puerto del Carmen, on the opposite side of the island, I'm elated to hear English voices coming from three people who aren't dressed in club or WorldTour-level sponsored kit and, without a shred of hesitation, I make a beeline for them to ask if I can hang out with them until the hooter goes. I don't let PT Tristan and clients Henry (in MTB baggies and T-shirt) and Steph (yay, another woman - and she's in flat shoes!) out of my sight as we do the obligatory pre-event faffing. They're staying at Club La Santa too, on a short fitness break that Tristan has organised. He also encouraged them to enter the event, and they're feeling rather out of their depth as well.