Anakin was right I hate sand too

Baby Steps is a parody of open world games, and our collective punishment for using the phrase 'walking simulator'.

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You play Nate, a basement-dwelling loser mysteriously teleported from his couch to the wilderness like the Pevensie children being magicked to Narnia, only instead of plucky youngsters full of Blitz spirit you are a 35-year-old failure full of pizza.

There's a mountain in the wilderness and maybe if Nate climbs it he'll be able to go home. It's as reasonable an assumption as any, so off you set, taking your first (baby) steps, and immediately falling on your dumptruck arse.

Baby Steps recommends you play with a controller like a real yakuza, so I did. Squeezing one trigger lifts your foot, pushing a stick moves that foot. You've got a fine degree of control over where that foot ends up before you put it back down, which will not save you. Nate has all the balance and grace of a moose on ice, and he's doing this hike barefoot.