Difficulties of Supreme Court ruling

BEARDS are strange things. I apologise to half the readers who do not have the where withal to grow a beard and promise the whole column will not be about facial hair - but I just wanted to share a quick thought with the 50% of males who do sport some degree of furry stuff on their chins....

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Why are they so unruly? Facial follicles, I mean...

The hair on top of your head can have a mind of its own (my scruffy mop in particular) but, when the barber's done, there seems to be at least some sort of uniformity. Beard hair is different. You carefully trim the wretched thing then, minutes later, you notice that some anarchist of a follicle which was hiding in the thatch has sprung out to be twice as long as the rest.

What a prat you feel, returning to the bathroom with your new beard-trimming device because you've spotted some bold warrior of a grey hair that's attempting to make you resemble a human warthog. There you are, protruding your chin towards the mirror like the kind of madman they used to lock up in Bedlam, trying to snip off the single rogue - and all the time you're thinking: "I thought growing a beard would be easier than shaving!"

And next time you're anywhere near a mirror, you notice that yet another follicle is leading the flock towards anarchy.

Running a government must be a bit like managing a beard. There you are one minute congratulating yourself that everything looks pretty good, or is running smoothly, then suddenly: Boing!!! Something unruly springs out and grabs the headlines.

Take the Supreme Court's "trans ruling" this week. If I was a politician, it's the sort of thing that would have me running for the hills rather than running the country.