All the 'must-dos' I won't be doing with my new pension

EARLIER this month I had my 66th birthday, which means that, later this month, or so HMRC tell me, some money will be arriving in my bank account.

- LYNNE BARRETT-LEE

So, free money, not to be sniffed at, and, better still, it'll keep coming. And since I’m working two jobs and I don’t plan on stopping, I'm committed to spending this “pocket money’, as I see it, on fun.

It also marks one of those important life milestones, which require one to pause and reflect. So I did all of that, and have reached a conclusion. And it is “Visit to Murano? Just say no’.

By happy accident, I spent my 66th birthday in Venice. Well, part of it, at any rate. We were on our hire-boat (yes, again! They didn’t blacklist us after all), so it necessarily started at a mooring. At a marina, in this case, so we had the gift of electricity. So, after days of going native, barely washing, that kind of vibe, Georgie and I spent the first hour doing each other’s hair, the plan being to motor to an island just a short vaporetto ride from Venice, put frocks on, go to Venice, and look chic for the ‘gram.

The next bit was a chug across Venice lagoon, from Sottomarina, near Chioggia, at the bottom, to Sant’Erasmo, which is near the top. At which point, a thunderstorm elected to join us, racing enthusiastically across the adjacent previously azure sky, and, on arrival, letting its presence be felt in ways thunderstorms out at sea (well, very nearly out at sea) do so preposterously well. Suffice to say, it was initially thrilling, but very soon became terrifying, since, to paraphrase the pilot with whom I write books about aircraft, had it got any worse, we would have “been very poorly placed” Which is RAF speak, I'm told, for “dead”.

Still, our seven knots proving sufficient to outrun the squall, we at last reached the island, where the sun made a showing. Though, sadly, only briefly. Spying Georgie, with her hair done, trying to lash the stern to the seawall, the storm made a particularly spiteful comeback, and threw several bucketloads of water over her head.