Where there's love, there's hope

My daughter, who has autism, was rejected from job training centres. But it may be a blessing in disguise

- Jill Lim

In the past three years since my 21-year-old daughter Kate graduated from her special-needs school for children with autism, much has happened - and not happened - at the same time.

First, she was assessed as suitable for work training and got a place at a job training centre. Then, after a few months, she was (politely) asked to transfer to a day activity centre, which is for those with higher support needs or, to put it more bluntly, for lower-functioning adults.

So, new location, new trainers, new environment.

While not having anything against the centre, I recently applied for her to be assessed at another two training centres, to see if there was the possibility of creating some kind of alternative future independence for her. She was not accepted at either place. I grieved a little when I received the rejection messages. I may have had to wipe away a few sudden tears. One letter was rather brief and the other was sympathetically written and gave details on why Kate was not suitable.

But the message in a nutshell in both cases was: She can't make it, not even for a trial period.

The hurt I felt on Kate's behalf was like a sharp cut - as most rejections are, I suppose, even those you think you have steeled yourself for.

Yes, parents are biased and are usually guilty of talking up their children's positive traits and downplaying the negative. Still, I couldn't help thinking that if my child was that capable and typical in her behaviour as seemed to be required, she wouldn't need a specially created, slower and kinder place for work training, would she?