Can you say that in English? Why a common tongue matters

When you unconsciously slip into your mother tongue in mixed company, you can inadvertently make some people feel excluded.

- Elisha Tushara

In May, I walked into my daughter's recent Parents' Day celebration in her pre-school with one worry on my mind — that I would be the oldest parent there among those in their 20s and 30s.

However, during the course of the event, something else made me even more uncomfortable. One of the teachers kept switching between Mandarin and English when conducting an activity and interacting with parents.

I looked around the room. Out of the group of about 20 children and their parents, only half were Chinese. The rest were Indians and Malays. And one of the teachers present was Filipino.

Much of her banter with parents was happening in Mandarin, a language lost on half the room, judging from the puzzled looks on people's faces.

I do not think there was any ill intent on her part. She was probably trying her best to keep things light-hearted and lively, and was speaking in a language she was most comfortable with.

But slipping into Mandarin meant that so many of us were excluded from the conversation.

I could infer some of what she was saying, but why did I need to do that? Why did I feel so uneasy and was I making a big deal out of nothing?

At that moment, it struck me how easy it is for people to default to their own mother tongues in public settings, and how easily it can make some feel left out or feel invisible in multiracial Singapore.

MINDING ONE'S LANGUAGE This isn't just about the use of Mandarin among the majority in Singapore. It happens across communities.