Kilig me softly

Kilig . That flutter in your heart, that smile that’s so wide it aches.

- RICARDO T. PAMINTUAN

It’s that jolt of excitement when a couple exchanges a meaningful glance onscreen or a book character says the perfect line at the perfect moment. Kilig is a whole vibe — a very Filipino one — that transcends language and borders, capturing a giddy whirlwind of emotions.

For Gen Xers, moments of kilig were rare gems, found on TV or in VHS tapes, not binge-streamed. Love stories then were fewer, but the kilig was just as we understand it today — like the iconic boombox scene in Say Anything, where Lloyd (played by John Cusack) stands outside the window of Diane (Ione Skye), holding a boombox over his head, blasting Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes. Pulling off a stunt like that today could make a stalker out of a wooer. At the turn of the millennium, John was able to redeem himself in Serendipity with Kate Beckinsale (who knew the future Death Dealer in Underworld could elicit kilig moments?)

Based on my own observations, real-life kilig is often found in the quiet, small gestures: remembering a favorite detail or showing up after time apart.

Kilig hits somewhat differently in Asia. The subtle handholding, the accidental skinship, the stare — you know, that intense gaze between two characters that seems to last a lifetime? Western cinema might give you kisses in the rain or even sex in the first 10 minutes of playtime; K-dramas give you a half season of longing stares and innuendo before anyone even holds hands or touches lips — and I mean literally just touch, like kissing one’s grandma.