Honey badger

I know what you're going to say.

- As told to Simon Barnes

You're going to read this diary, smile wisely, shake your head and say: well, that's just a myth, isn't it? To which I have not one but two answers. The first, addressed exclusively to male humans: OK, bet your balls on it then. The second: has it not occurred to you that we honey badgers might have a vested interest in our own mythologies?

Monday

We don’t back down. Our defence is to advance, no matter how big the adversary, and with plenty of teeth on show. They say that when we're cornered by humans we always go for the crotch — well, nice tempting height. Can’t say I've been in that position, but it makes the most obvious good sense, does it not?

Tuesday