The root causes of our problems must be tackled

FOR a Roman general about to commit to battle, every piece of intelligence was vital. Rather than blindly attack or retreat, he asked the gods. More specifically, he got a professional augur to open a cage with chicken in, throw some bread at it, and watch how the chicken ate it. Then, you see, he would know if the gods favoured him.

- Jamie Driscoll

Today, we use opinion polls.

Before last week’s Caerphilly byelection, Survation predicted a 4% lead for Reform on 42%, with Plaid Cymru on 38%. The result? An 11% lead for Plaid with 47%. Reform polled 36%.

True, that was a single constituency telephone poll with a small sample size. But why have people revered divination throughout history?

The Ancient Greeks preferred the Oracle to chickens. A priestess would sit on a stool over a crack in the ground that belched out natural petrochemical fumes. Then speak the word of the gods.

When I was elected Mayor in May 2019, Theresa May was Prime Minister. Imagine if I'd written a column predicting she’d be gone within weeks, and that bloke from Have I Got News For You would become Prime Minister.

And there'd be this killer virus, right, that would stop us all going outside and we'd be paid to stay at home, but there would be no toilet paper or pasta.

But the scruffy-haired Latin bloke would get caught having a big party in Downing Street, so he would be replaced by that angry cheese speech woman, but she'd be beaten by a lettuce.