Bellingham's alpha energy is part of England's problem

While Uefa looks at player's crotch-grabbing celebration, Gareth Southgate must harness his winning instincts

- Barney Ronay

It's day 20 in the Euro 2024 Haus. Cristiano Ronaldo has finally pared his entire on-field performance down to a series of viral reaction memes. German police are to be given tasers and sniper rifles to deal with a raised threat of beaming, selfie-grabbing children whose parents need to have a look at themselves. And a formal investigation is under way into whether Jude Bellingham grabbing his imaginary balls really is a private joke among his friends or an insult to Slovakian manhood.

In fact only one of these statements is demonstrably true at the time of writing. But it does raise many other lines of inquiry. What kind of investigation is this exactly? What kind of friends are we talking about here? And what is the chance any sanction for breaching "decent human conduct" (Uefa translation: racism, arguably no; dick gesture, zero tolerance) will be delayed until after the tournament's second most famous man is safely packed off somewhere else?

But from an England point of view Uefa is right in at least one sense. Some kind of investigation is required, and it should definitely centre on Bellingham.

To date England's performances have resembled an extended experiment into the limits of audience discomfort, before dissolving into a frenzied screwball comedy for the final half-hour against Slovakia. As the players spend the week in Blankenheim grooving whatever training process has led to this outcome, it seems increasingly clear that the way the manager has used Bellingham is key both to the current state of confusion, and to the chances of resolving it.