Neighbours' secrets laid bare

Almost spring. That magical time of year when a spurt of winter rain confirms that your roof is leaking and you frantically work out how many days left until real rain starts.

- SONJA BROWN

It all started with a drizzle. A little drip-drip into the bar area. Not bad, I thought.

Until it turned into a full-blown ceiling tantrum. So, like any responsible adult with zero roofing experience but an overinflated sense of DIY confidence, I fetched a ladder, a bucket of waterproof sealant and my most heroic pair of shorts the next day.

Scaling a ladder with a paintbrush in one hand and a tub of roof sealant in the other is a delicate art, usually mastered by circus performers or burglars.

For me, it was less Cirque du Soleil and more "Oh no, the neighbour saw my underwear".