Head elf is not so great

I cursed at Christmas. I stood on the baby Jesus. I crushed the nativity under my giant, boat-like takkie.

- JENNIE RIDYARD

All this while getting the Christmas decorations out of the attic, before a bauble had even been hung.

Last year, someone - no names but, reader, I married him - had helpfully packed the decorations away after Christmas because I wasn't home.

That certain someone didn't close one of the cases, so when I lifted it, decorations scattered.

I thought I'd retrieved them all until I crushed a tiny crib, then stepped back, swearing, and promptly beheaded a wise man.

Note to wise men: keep your heads down at Christmas.