A fast & furious offer

Dear Pieter Engelbrecht, congratulations on taking home R7.2 million a month. I applaud your restraint. If I were the CEO of Shop-rite and had the only keys to the safe, I'd take home a lot more.

- BEN TROVATO

I'd also fill my car with free groceries every day and take those home, too. Then again, you're probably like me and get your edibles from Woolworths.

This time last year, you were earning 991 times more than your lowest-paid employee. How embarrassing. Hopefully, you have doubled this figure by now. It's the only way to get the respect of your workers. I suppose you could always increase the disparity by reducing their salaries but they'd probably go on strike. Damn their selfish eyes.

Anyway. I'm looking for a job. Hold on. Don't delete this just yet. You are going to want to hire me when you hear what I'm offering.

Your Checkers Sixty60 motorbike delivery department has been taking flack lately, largely because word got out that the riders earn a net monthly salary of R2 800. I agree this is outrageous.

The exhilaration of riding a motorcycle every day should be compensation enough. In fact, tourists in Cape Town would jump at the chance of a free ride to see the city, even if they had to do it in under an hour and drop off groceries along the way.