Medicine quest replaces my light ale and laughter

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS

- RICHARD IRVINE

We live somewhere where I know four people. These people are two neighbours, the woman who sold me membership to the gym, and a till assistant in Lidl.

They're more commercially and geographically based acquaintances than close pals, which is why the good thing about Christmas is it gives me a chance to see actual friends.

This year we were due to meet in a delightful country pub for light ales and laughter at 7pm. All I had to do was prepare an evening meal for the children and leave the house at 5.30pm.

"Can't Victoria cook for the family, so you can have an early dart?" I hear you say.

You might have a point, but Sunday is my day on the meal rota, and she is a stickler for tradition.