LATE TO THE PLATE

During my first week in Mumbai three years ago, my cook walked into the house asking, "Aaj kya banau (What shall I make today)?"

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As I rummaged through the vegetables in the fridge, she made up her mind herself, declaring, "Aloo banati hoon; Bhaiyya ko bahut pasand hai (I'll make potatoes; Bhaiyya loves it)." This continued for days, and my husband and I ended up eating several kilos of aloo and paneer — his favourites. One day, when I could no longer take it, I snapped. "Ek baar tho pooch lo ki mujhe kya pasand hai (Ask me at least once what Id like)," I said to her. She laughed.

In Kiran Rao’s Laapataa Ladies (2023), when Jaya asks Yashoda why she stopped making the lotus stem stir-fry that she loved eating at her parents' house, Yashoda says it is because her husband and son don’t touch it. “You like it. Make it for yourself,” Jaya says. Yashoda laughs, much in the way my cook did. “Since when do women make what they like eating,” she asks.

It is not uncommon for Indian women to believe that men’s dietary preferences should be considered foremost. It is also well-documented that many women are accustomed to eating leftovers because of the dictates of patriarchy. According to the 2011 India Human Development Survey, in about a quarter of Indian households, women are expected to have their meals after men have finished eating. This means that they end up with cold rotis, little dal, and no leafy veggies.