Landmark ruling on customary marriage could reshape divorce outcomes in SA

I CAME across a plaque-frame years ago which said: “Marriages performed by the captain are valid only for the duration of the voyage.”

- SHAMLA PATHER

THE writer says both parties should have equal power in a marriage. | Meta AI

(Meta AI)

This could not be truer when it comes to parties going through matrimonial discord.

Parties are happy, content and are able to make decisions together, financial or otherwise while they are together. Somehow the termination of the relationship brings about the change in personalities, the children start belonging to only one spouse, expenses increase exponentially and likewise decrease phenomenally, and so the list goes on.

For those of you who have been in litigious divorces, you know exactly what I mean, as you have experienced some or other “symptoms”.

Most often lawyers will propose settlement at the beginning to save the pain, time and money, and most times either party wants revenge so a settlement is not on the cards, but after years of fighting, being alienated from their children, having spent hundreds of thousands of rand on advocates and attorneys, they accept the settlement that was initially proposed by the lawyers or the other spouse.

Marriage is the easy part as you are in love, and through the rose-tinted glasses you see that beautiful life ahead of you.

Divorce, separation or termination of relationships bring about the worst in people, and this can either shape your life and make you aware of life lessons, or it can erode and destroy who you are. As with everything, we have choices, and the choices you make when you are faced with the prospect of divorce will set the tone for who you will become thereafter and the legacy you will leave for your children.

It can also shape your relationship with your ex-spouse, which is important, especially where you have a long way ahead with your children and commitments.

You may have made bad choices in the marriage. This does not mean you cannot change or be better. That said, the legislation also throws curve balls your way.