When parents get an attack of exam stress

Millennial parents haven't yet broken free of the long legacy of hyperventilating about exams

- Avantika Bhuyan

The exam season is upon us. Like they do every year, thousands of children across the country will appear for formal assessments. As my daughter and her friends gear up for their debut half-yearly exams—in some schools in the National Capital Region (NCR), marked evaluations start only after middle school—I have come to a sad realisation. Millennial parents are not as cool as we like to think we are.

Instead of steering clear of the long legacy of Indian parents hyperventilating about examinations, we seem to have added a unique stamp to this exercise. Back in the day, our parents opted for a negative motivation strategy by quoting examples of outstanding students from their immediate environment—a cousin or a neighbour's child. We have taken this further by scouring hundreds of WhatsApp and social media groups to cite from.

There also seems to be an amnesia about our own exam days when long-lost relatives would call on the landline every single day of preparatory leave to check on us. "Maths paar lag gaya toh jeevan safal ho jaayega! (Your life will be made if you succeed at maths)" one aunt had remarked to me. Sadly, these nosey parkers still exist.

However, instead of learning from past experiences and standing as a wall between them and the kids, we are bringing in more noise into their lives. "My father has formed a social media group with his office colleagues. They discuss strategies at all hours on ways in which I can maximise my revision time. Some even send flow charts and venn diagrams on exam efficiency. No one asks what works for me! Meanwhile my mom has started subscribing to websites that suggest rituals and pujas to guarantee success in exams. I feel more triggered by these messages than by the syllabus," says 13-year-old A.K., a class VIII student in Gurugram.