The pain of ingratitude

Although “utang na loob” is considered a Filipino value, ingratitude also runs deep in our culture. Many who sacrifice for others often feel unappreciated, overlooked, or even taken for granted.

- FR. ROLANDO Y. DELA ROSA, O.P.

We see this in many Filipino households. Parents who had worked tirelessly for their children, are often abandoned or neglected by them in old age. Brothers or sisters, who are suffering from serious sickness, receive no support from their siblings whom they had helped to finish college and succeed in life.

In government, citizens often find themselves wallowing in poverty or overwhelmed by disasters due to the negligence and ingratitude of the very politicians they entrusted with power. In churches, religious communities, and the corporate world, genuine acts of kindness are sometimes met with apathy, while gratitude is withheld out of pride or envy. Generosity is frequently repaid with suspicion, criticism, gossip, or thinly veiled resentment.

Some people quote these words of Jesus to justify ingratitude: “When you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matthew 6:3—4). They take this to mean that those who give should expect nothing in return, not even a simple “thank you.”