RICHARD IRVINE

Using strong arm tactics to muscle in on kids’ affection

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“Super muscles,” I boasted reaching over to unscrew a lid from a jar of blackcurrant jam.

“How strong are you?” Emma asked, and I thought before answering in a serious manner.

“One time, I was in the gym, and did such a heavy bench press, a stranger said, ‘nice work’,” I recalled to my daughter's blank face.

Since the only other time somebody had spoken to me in the gym was to tell me I'd split my shorts down the back, and everybody could see everything whenever I bent down, this moment was a nice change of pace and a source of pride from the acute shame I'd felt before.

Seeing Emma wasn't as impressed with the anecdote as I'd hoped, I decided to up the stakes and pledged, “I bet I could lift you above my head”.