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The thing about regret and love...

Hindustan Times Bengaluru

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April 06, 2025

...is that it is inevitable. All love really does demand some sacrifice. One loses and gains, at the very least, a different version of oneself

- Simran Mangharam

Accept life, and one must accept regret, a wise person once told me. I would add: Accept love, and one must accept regret.

Any great love really does demand sacrifice. Some loves get by on small ones: routine annoyances, concessions made and taken for granted; fidelity itself.

Some great loves demand a lot more. They demand one change one's chosen path, and give up one dream for another. These can be among the hardest decisions to make.

Choose the love, and one loses a version of oneself. The version that could have had that career, or that family, or that freedom. Usually, the love is worth it in the end.

But what is one to do with the feelings of true loss one is left holding?

Asma, a 41-year-old client of mine, moved to Australia after marrying 45-year-old Richard. She was a successful management consultant here at home. In their year-long courtship, Asma felt confident about her decision to give it all up and start over.

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