Words of wisdom: how to overcome painful times

Former No 10 spin doctor Craig Oliver has created a podcast in which he interviews public figures about how they coped with traumatic life experiences — here he shares their moving stories 

- Craig Oliver

JUST before lockdown, I hit the buffers. Externally all seemed fine. I was doing well in my new career as a business consultant after a life in the fast lane as an editor of BBC TV News and at the heart of No10. But internally I was a mess - I felt I'd followed the rules of what was needed to make you happy, but I was deeply uncomfortable in my own skin, and struggled to see any point or meaning to life.

I decided to try to find out what wise people had to say. I found a lot of snake oil salesmen but also some people who were able to shift my perspective: instead of seeing life as a trial to be endured or a race to be won, I started to understand that I should feel grateful just to be alive and experience the world. Perhaps more importantly, I started to see that I had been in conflict with too many things that I simply couldn't change, including the past and difficult people. I realised the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, I needed to, "accept the things I cannot change, Have the courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference."

I can't pretend it is easy or I always get it right - but I can see a different way. What I also discovered was when I was vulnerable with people, they were vulnerable back, opening up about their struggles and how they had come to terms with painful, sometimes horrifying experiences. I wanted to find a way to share all of this and when I suggested talking to some well-known people on a podcast, I was amazed when they said "Yes."