Pause for thoughts

On January 4, Health Secretary Wes Streeting had just advised the nation to turn on their heating and wrap up warm during a -8C cold snap.

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Our thought: “Memo to Wes: No @%!@ Sherlock”

On February 20, Donald Trump had just blamed Ukraine for being invaded by Russia - and earned himself the nickname “Putin’s poodle”. Our thought: “77.3 million Americans have an awful lot to answer for”.

On March 5, US Vice President JD “Dunce” Vance had branded the UK a “random country that hasn’t fought a war in 40 years”. Our thought: “What. A. WAZZOCK.”

On April 23, jug-eared footie icon Gary Lineker had quit Match Of The Day, saying he felt BBC bosses were keen to “bring in new people.” Our thought: “He's out on his ears.”