Frances Millar

To be frank...

- 

AS THE great and the good and the grunty of the tennis world descend on SW19, the sun is shining, the straw-berries are ripe, the Pimm's is flowing.

You can almost hear Sir Cliff warming up his vocal cords, just in case rain interrupts play. Yes, Wimbledon is here. The All England Lawn Tennis Club is looking pristine, the courts are clipped, the lines crisply painted. Murray Mound (or is it Draper's Distension now?) is littered with sunburnt spectators, pots of houmous, carrot sticks, cocktail sausages and premixed G&T tins. All is as it should be. Or is it...?

According to a recent study, tennis players may be craftily using toilet breaks for more than just a comfort stop.

You cannot be serious! It's long been suspected that those mid-match trips are strategic, and now there's data to prove it. Researchers found that 71 per cent of toilet breaks were taken after losing a set offering the perfect chance to break an opponent's momentum, regroup mentally, or just vent some frustration by booting a bin and muttering a few unsporting words about the umpire.

You can hardly blame them who doesn't resort to a well-timed toilet break in an awkward moment? It's

Tirade