STAN CULLIMORE

Five weeks ago when I was writing this column, our lawn was in full fig. Happy as a rabbit in a bucket full of carrot tops... thanks to a couple of days of relentless rain

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If you are a regular reader of these modest columns, especially if you read the column from a fortnight ago, then I have two very important things to say.

Firstly, thank you. Secondly, sorry. I owe you an apology. And, despite the temptation, dear reader, I'm not going to resort to any sneaky low down tricks, the way some sneaky national newspapers might do. I expect you know the sort of thing I'm referring to. When they get something wrong, they sneak a teeny, tiny apology way down at the bottom of the back page. Far out of sight. But I won't be doing that. Oh, no. I'm going to do it, right here, right now, in the finest of styles I can manage. Which is exactly what the mighty fine readers of these humble columns deserve. So here goes. Deep breath.

Actually, thinking about it, it might be worth backing up a bit here and explaining exactly what it is that needs to be apologised for. You see, it's to do with my lawn. Or rather, the piece I wrote about my lawn which ran in this fine weekend magazine a couple of weeks ago.