Hotdog politics

When is a sausage not a sausage? The 720 members of the European Parliament tried to answer that delicate question last month.

- Cathrin Schaer

Conservative politicians with connections to farmers' lobby groups voted through a new rule that says certain food product names - things like sausage, burger or steak - must be reserved for edibles made out of actual animals. Vege burgers, tofu sausages, seitan schnitzels, vegan tuna and any other of their woke, plant-based brethren must be renamed, the parliament said.

Vegetal descriptors are a surprisingly contentious issue. Those who want the vegetarian meat foods retitled argue such names are confusing to consumers, a horrendous injustice to farmers and even somehow - don't ask how - make it harder for farmers to earn a living.

"A steak, an escalope or a sausage are products from our livestock, not laboratory art nor plant products," said French parliamentarian Céline Imart, who tabled the amendment. "There is a need for transparency and clarity for the consumer and recognition for the work of our farmers."

Apparently, farmer-friendly politicians have tried this before. But back in 2020, their linguistic revolution against the evil vegetarians failed.