Life is like one long to-do list

Award-winning coach Kim Morgan decides it's time to get tough with super-busy client Ruth

- Kim Morgan

Session Two

Ruth didn't turn up for her second coaching session. I tried messaging and emailing her to ask if everything was okay, but I had no response. The next morning, I received an email: 'Apologies — completely forgot our session. Didn't see your messages until last night. Manic here. Reschedule this week?'

It wasn't easy for me to reschedule but I moved some appointments and offered Ruth an online session a couple of days later.

She joined the video call ten minutes late with her usual refrain: 'I'm so busy... but I made it.' She added: 'I had to move four meetings. I haven’t eaten all day. I’m knackered.'

I found myself feeling frustrated by Ruth's focus on her own busyness and her sacrifices to be here, with little awareness that I had also made adjustments to prioritise our time together.

Sometimes when a coach has a strong response to a client, it is worth asking: 'Is this about me and my “stuff” or am I perhaps feeling what others might feel in response to this person's behaviours?'

This was only our second coaching session, and I hadn't got to know Ruth well, but I didn't feel I could proceed without having an honest discussion with her.

'I'm pleased you made time for this session, and I can see how overwhelmed you are with work commitments. I'm wondering about your level of commitment and your readiness to have coaching now.'

Ruth looked taken aback, then nodded slowly. 'Okay, I get why you are asking the question,' she said. 'Respect to you for challenging me — not many people do! I guess it seems like I'm not taking this seriously?'

'I'm not judging,' I said, 'I am just wondering how important coaching is to you now, given everything else you've got going on?'

Ruth paused, then said: 'I think it is very important... But everything else feels urgent. It's like my whole life is a giant to-do list.'