A perfect pearing

IF pears were a person, you'd have nothing to do with them.

- Mark Diacono 

Nurture a pear tree to a decent harvest and you enjoy none of the instant pleasure of apples, as most varieties are picked firm to develop in storage-after which the fruit will ripen from not-quite there to squish when you pop to the shops for 10 minutes. Here in rainy south-west England, pear trees grow well enough, but, no matter how well I care for them, they look at me as the dog does after a fun walk on the beach with his favourite ball punctuated by a handful of treats: as if I've subjected him to a long and systematic programme of mistreatment.

After all that, why grow them, you may ask. Because, when you get a pear at its perfect peak, when it surrenders with merely the pretence of resistance, when its juice runs sweet and luscious, you forget its nuisances.

Pears like things just so; a sheltered, sunny location with a fertile, well-drained soil, ideally of neutral or slightly acidic pH is best. When planting, be particularly careful to clear a circumference of a yard around the trunk to minimise competition: mulch this with compost or well-rotted manure every late winter or early spring to help retain moisture and feed the tree. As much as it can be rainy here in Devon, I've noticed that watering pears through extended dry spells in summer makes more difference to fruit retention and tree health than with most other fruit trees.

Most pears need another variety for pollination; some varieties are self-fertile to varying degrees, but even they are more productive with a suitable neighbour.